Ode to the McGriddle

The McGriddle is the greatest thing ever created.  Anytime anyone ever mentioned that they a) do not like the McGriddle, b) never tried the McGriddle or c) well, there is no C.  I used to always link them to Tucker Max‘s message board to read Sling Blades Ode to the McGriddle, now that the message board is gone, here is Sling Blades McGriddle arguement.


Tucker Max: “Dude–That thing looks disgusting. It has to be nasty, with the syrup shit in it. What is that?” 

Sling Blade : “I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have not yet partake of the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever Ghetto Bastard cook your McDonalds has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait-They didnt add… yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrapped it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them… the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET!!! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.”

Tucker Max : “So you like them?”

Sling Blade: “if you EVER speak ill of the McGriddle again I will personally force-feed you one while I fuck you in the butt using the wrapper as a condom and then donkey punch you when the infused syrup nuggets explode in your mouth.”

Credit: I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

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