Mac vs. PC: Windows 7

As much of a Microsoft guy that I am, I do enjoy Apple’s Mac vs PC commercials.  I got a kick out of the latest, even though the RC of Windows 7 I have been using the last few months has been nothing but outstanding.


What it looks like to me, Apple is trying one last push to drive up some sales before everyone finds out how awesome Windows 7 really is.  They really have nothing negative to say about it here.  Make fun of any previous release you want, won’t help here.  /fanboy

Lynx is Dead. Google Adds ‘View as Googlebot’

For years I have been trying to explain to people what the crawlers actually see when they come to your website.  The best estimate was always a Lynx browser.  I always had a hell of a time trying to get Lynx to run until finally I found a Firefox addon, Yellow Pipe Lynx Viewer.  However, I still had issues with redirect, secure pages and pretty much anything else you could think of.  Playing around in the Google Webmaster Tools today, I came across an option to Fetch as Googlebot.  It doesn’t give you something crazy or unexpected, just a simple fetch of your page.  However, it is certainly nice to know, instead of guessing, exactly what Google is fetching from your site.

Subway: That Devious Fast-Food Tart

Let’s play a word association game, shall we?

Fast food.

Did you just think of McDonald’s? If so, you’re probably not alone. Who hasn’t seen the familiar Golden Arches? Their marketing influence is one of the best. Odds are that you could close your eyes and still see one or two commercials in your mind’s eye. You’ve chomped on a Big Mac and fries. You’ve bought a Happy Meal or two for your kids. That makes you a typical American (unless, of course, you’re a vegetarian and we fast-food consumers don’t truck with your lot).

Now that you’re awash in nostalgia, here’s the proverbial splash of cold water in your face. McDonald’s isn’t as beloved as you think it is. What is this, you exclaim? What sort of foul treachery is this? Who has dared to supplant the Golden Arches in our collective bosom? Burger King or Wendy’s or In-N-Out or Carl Jr.’s, you ask?

Not at all.

Turns out it’s Subway. That’s right. Yes, that franchise chain that tarts up their subs with nary a hamburger or a fry, traditional foods so beloved by fast food restaurants. Don’t believe us? Take a look at the map and see if you can count the red dots. You can’t.

In fact, there are more Subways than you can shake your stick at. (This doesn’t apply if you’re in Nevada, say, but you can’t blame that state since everyone knows Nevadans gamble away their Subway subs.) The East and the Mid-West have bred their Subways like incestuous hillbillies in such numbers that the red dots overlap each other in a furious storm.

For whatever reason, this hasn’t been repeated in the West, except for certain clusters like the ones in Washington, Oregon, California, Arizona, and Colorado. And… amazingly enough in Utah. (Insert the obligatory borderline offensive Mormon jokes here.)

On this side note, we’d like to applaud Nevada for its ingenuity. The state keeps the gamblers firmly entrenched in the casinos. They’ve smartly ensured that the farthest point a person can be from the nearest Subway in the continental US is between the towns of Austin and Eureka. 138 miles to be exact.

Subway Locations in US

We have a number of plausible geographical reasons why Subway hasn’t invaded the West, but personally we’re going with our theory of McDonald’s playing the role of the aging gunslinger and Subway as the young, cocky gunslinger. Guns will ablaze and in the end goes the collective of the American fatties as spoils to the victor.

myTouch, t-mobile and Cat Stevens at it again

Well if you want to sing out, sing out.
And if you want to be free, be free.
Because there’s a million things to be, you know that there are.

And if you to be me, be me.
And if you want to be you, be you.
Because there’s a million ways to go, you know that there are.

T-Mobile has launched a second installment of the myTouch commercial featuring Cat Stevens’ If you Want to Sing Out.  This time starring Chevy Chase, the girl from SNL (Molly Shannon), Dana Carvey and some guy (Darrell Hammond?).  Take a look:


Google’s Usage Statistics

According to Alexa Internet, the percent of global Internet users who visit is around 33%.  This includes Google Search, GMail, Picasa, Google News/Docs/Finance, etc.  This is the saddest thing I have heard this year.  What does the rest of the world use the internet for?

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DISH Still Sucks

Currently, it is storming outside to where my DISH Network is out and I can’t watch the IND/ARI game.  It is raining enough to where I can tell myself, yeah, I can see why DISH crapped out.  It is a pretty strong storm, however  I still don’t think DISH sucks any less.  My neighbors ATT internet is still working just fine (as you can see).  Makes me wish I had cable TV.


Never get satellite (DISH Network) television.

Furthest Point From McDonald’s

I came across this map today.  It is a visualization by distance to the nearest McDonald’s.  First and foremost, this is not my data or visualization.  I came across this on on a post entitled Where The Buffalo Roam.


The map is all cool and dandy, we have seen these kind of things with Wal-Mart, it really comes as no surprise.  However, the best stat to take away from this is that the furthest point you can get away from a McDonald’s in the contiguous US is in South Dakota, where you can be 107 miles away from the wonderment that is the McGriddle.

Digg has brought to my attention that I am stupid and it should read farthest, not furthest. I shall leave it unchanged so I can feel the full extent of the ridicule I have earned. 🙁


McDonald's Density Map

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell: Go See This Movie.

I Hope They Serve Beer In HellLast Saturday cords, tims and I had the good fortune to attend the Chicago premier of Tucker Max’s film, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.  Surprised that I said, “good fortune to attend”?  Well, so am I.

I went into this movie with extremely low expectations.  I don’t drink and I’m not a womanizer.  Conversely, a substantial part of Tucker Max’s work involves drinking and womanizing.  I’m not offended by those things, but I just don’t relate.  I guess you could say I’m not in Tucker’s target audience.

This is the part of the review where I am supposed to say I was pleasantly surprised, but I won’t do that.  I won’t do that because I was not pleasantly surprised — I was blown the fuck away.

This movie inspired actual laughter in me.  Not a little grunt you sort of exhale in amusement.  Not a chuckle that lasts for a few dying syllables.  This movie inspired real, sustained laughter at least 20 or 30 times.

After the premier, I spent a few days trying to put a review together that would do this film justice.  How should I describe the plot, the characters, etc?  After some thought, I decided not to try.  I don’t want anyone to read my review and assume they aren’t in the target audience.

I was wrong.  This movie isn’t for people who can relate to drinking and womanizing.  This movie is for people who like to laugh.  The plot, the characters and the subject matter are just the vehicles used for delivering the humor.

If you are still inclined to get familiar with the plot and the characters before seeing the movie, here are the trailers:

Personally, neither of the trailers did much for me.  The trailers didn’t use any of the movie’s best jokes.  And, the jokes they did use don’t pack the same punch when lifted out of the context of the movie.

I will mention that the movie has some cool cameos.  As an MMA fan, I was happy to see Forrest Griffin and Mac Danzig (even though he is a dirty vegan).  It should be noted that since filming these cameos, Forrest and Mac are a combined 0-5.  I don’t want to start any conspiracy theories, but this is clearly Tucker’s fault.

In short: go see this film.  It does not disappoint.  The film opens September 25th.